After hours
by nofeartina
Summary: Edward and Bella have an arrangement. Bella comes by his office after hours and Edward lets her. AH, BxE, rated M for lemons. Started as a one-shot but now continued.
1. Oneshot

**A/N: SM owns everything. If not I would have a bigger car… **

**Just a little short story this time from me. It wanted to be written so what is a girl to do…? I hope you enjoy. See you on the other side…**

I'm waiting for her. I never know whether or not she's going to come around. But it doesn't matter, I'm waiting for her like a lovesick puppy. I just can't seem to get enough.

I look up from the papers at my desk when the last person on the floor is saying goodbye to me. "Late night again,eh?" he says, and I just nod and smile. I've earned quite the reputation in the office by now, always staying so late. I'm almost always the last to leave. If they only knew. I don't even care about promotions anymore. I only care about her. A short glimpse of her white thighs covered in stockings flash before my eyes and suddenly I'm grateful that I'm sitting down behind the desk. It doesn't take more than that short memory to start the stirrings in my dick. Jesus. She has too much of a hold on me…

The intercom buzzes. I know it's her so I buzz her right up. Straight away I'm flushing and I can feel my body heat up. I have to remove my tie. It's been a couple of weeks since she was here last. But I know better than to ask her why. I gave up on getting to know her better a while ago. I've decided to settle for just being with her.

Her timing is perfect as always. I'm the only one left on the floor. The office is all quiet, gone are the sounds of people making small talk, the buzz from the computers and telephones ringing. So it is very easy to hear the ding of the elevator when it opens. My breathing hitches from just that sound. My imagination is running amok trying to figure out what she could be wearing. She never wears the same twice.

I can hear the sounds of her heels approaching my office. I lean back in my chair and decide to just sit here until I can see her. Then I can see what she's into today.

The first thing I notice is her hair. The big wavy brown curls are flowing freely down her back today. I love it when her hair is down. It means I can be the one in control. She loves it when I pull it during.

The next thing I notice is her smile. She is looking straight at me, taking me in. Smiling because she likes what she sees. Again I'm glad that I'm sitting down. The sight of her standing there is so overwhelming it almost takes my breath away. She is by far the most beautiful woman I've ever seen.

She's wearing a red wrap-around dress. No stockings, so I bet that she's naked under it. I feel my dick hardening at the thought.

"Hi…" she says still smiling. It's so contagious I can't help smiling as well. I finally stand up and walk to the other side of the desk. I lean back against it and fold my arms in front of me.

"Hi." I say back.

She slowly enters my office. She doesn't look around, she knows the office too well by now. She steps up to me, so close. But not close enough. She puts her hand on my jaw and caresses my cheek with her thumb. She's still smiling. She knows what she's doing to me. It's the sweetest torture but I'm never going to stop her.

I grab her hand and pull her in for the first kiss. I stop just before our lips meet. "I've missed you." I say, knowing that she will never say it back. I can feel her smile and before the lack of words goes to my heart I kiss her. I kiss her sweetly and slowly. I know I only have a short time of sweet and slow so I take advantage of it. I love kissing her, her lips are perfect against mine. I feel her open her mouth and tease my lower lip with the tip of her tongue. Knowing her need to speed things up I try to slow her down again by not opening up. My feeble attempts to drag it out are finished when she sucks my lower lip into her mouth and bite down on it. I groan and take charge of the kiss as I know she wants me to.

With a firm grip on her hips I turn us around so she is leaning against the desk. I suck on her tongue and my hand finds her breast. Kneading it, but avoiding the nipple to drive her crazy. She gasps and kisses me harder. I let go of her breast to find the bow keeping her dress together. It's hard to open it when my hands are shaking so much. When I finally manage to untie the bow I break the kiss eager to look at her. I take a step back and as I push the two ends of the dress slowly apart I am rewarded with the sight of her completely naked. My eyes rake her beautiful body. I stop at her breasts, so full and soft the sight alone makes my mouth water. I continue until I reach her pussy and I want to bury myself in it in every way.

I drop to my knees in front of her and look up at her as I kiss her navel. I can hear her breathing hitch and she is watching me with those brown eyes. The smile is gone but the look she has on her face now is so much better. I slide one of my hands up her leg. Enjoy the feel of the soft skin on her foot, her calve and her thigh. She spreads her legs a bit for me and the scent of her arousal hits me. I take a deep breath and can hear her moan because of it. She knows what her smell does to me. I look up at her again, lean back a bit and touch myself with the other hand. I know it drives her crazy when I touch myself. I can see her eyes linger on my hand.

"Take it out. I want to see you…" she says huskily. I shake my head. I have to keep reminding myself that I'm the one in control not her. I slide my hand from her thigh over her stomach and then slowly head south. I'm watching her watching me as I finally slip inside her folds. Her pulse quickens and she moans as I slip a finger inside her. She is so wet. It so obvious she wants this, she wants me.

"Fuck! You're so wet!" I gasp as I lean forward and introduce my tongue to her clit. Her legs give out and she sits down clumsily on the desk.

"Yes…" She hisses and puts a hand on my hair trying to push me closer to her. I smile at her desperation, loving that I can make her feel this way.

"Edward, please!" She gasps. I love that I am the one on my knees yet she's the one who's begging.

I add another finger and begin fingering her in earnest as I suck her clit into my mouth. I'm finally giving in, giving it to her. She throws her head back and moans. She slowly leans back, too overcome with the pleasure I'm providing and I follow as I always do. I can feel her legs trembling and know she is close. Instead of giving her what she wants I let her go. I stand up and take both her thighs into my hands to spread her legs further apart. She's at her most beautiful like this. Wet and glistening, pink and inviting. Her chest is quickly rising and falling, she's panting and I can't help but lean forward and take one of her tits into my mouth and suck on it roughly. She grips my hair again and moans loudly. While she is distracted I open my pants and pull out my dick. I'm so hard and leaking and just can't wait to be in her.

I find her entrance easily and switch breast before I bury myself to the hilt in one quick shove. She gasps and pulls on my hair again. I let go of her breast, eager to see her face as I slowly pull back. When my dick is almost all the way out I change the pace to quickly bury myself to the hilt again. She screams and grips my lapels. I'm suddenly glad I removed my tie earlier or else I'm quite sure this would be another kind of sex all together. Her face is twisted in the best kind of way, I have her so wound up she doesn't even care that I'm watching her so much.

"More! Harder!" She commands. I ignore her requests and continue with the same rhythm a few more strokes. I can feel the coil tightening in my gut and I know that I'm close as well. I have to do something not to blow my load before her, so I lift her legs and place them on my shoulders. I hang on to her hips for dear life as I begin to pound into her. I know I'm hitting her in all the right places as her screams and moans have dropped to a minimum. She always gets real quiet just before she comes real hard. My eyes roam her face with her mouth open and her eyes shut tight. Her breaths leave her body in gasps. Her tits are jumping every time I pound into her. It's the most beautiful sight ever.

I release her hips with my one hand to play with her clit. I'm giving her my best. And I can feel it working. Her entire body is quivering.

"I'm coming, I'm coming..!" she gasps and then the swearing begins as I feel her muscles clench around me. I love how she becomes foul mouthed when she comes. With every "Fuck!" I feel myself getting pushed closer and closer to the edge.

I don't wait until she's come down all the way from her orgasm before I release her legs and turn her over. A second later I'm inside her again and enjoying the gorgeous sight of my dick disappearing into her from behind. I'm fast and hard now, going in and out of her like a piston. She's still riding the wave and I take advantage of it. I wrap her hair around one of my hands and pull hard.

"Oh god, YES!" She screams as she comes a second time. Her walls contract and I feel myself growing impossible harder as I pound into her a few more times before I come myself. The orgasm is the most amazing high. They always are with her. I feel the strength leaving my body as I collapse on top of her. I know I shouldn't but I just can't help it. We lie there together for a moment while I work on getting my body working again.

She's the first to recover. Instead of telling me to get off her, she just tugs at my jacket and I give her room to turn around under me. She puts her arms around me and hugs me tightly.

"Thank you. I really needed that…" She whispers into my ear and it's not the first time I'm wondering what's going on in her life that makes her need this, makes her need me this way. I put my hands on the desk and slowly push myself up enough to kiss her.

"You're welcome, baby" I say and get up completely. As I begin to fumble with my clothes she keeps still not making any moves to get up. I stop and just look at her. She's sprawled on my desk, her legs hanging over the side and her dress open so I can see her glorious body. She suddenly looks sad and I wish I could ask her what is going on. I just want to help. But I know better than to ask. We don't talk. I don't know much about her. I don't even know if she has somebody waiting for her at home. But I'm betting that she does. She must. She's too lovely not to.

The moment passes when she gets up and tie her dress. She quickly uses my bathroom and I can hear the flush while I'm putting on my tie again. She comes out, looking like she did when she came except for the slight tinge of pink on her cheeks. She looks at me and smiles. Not the big smile she had on when she came though. A small smile that pains me.

I take a step forward towards her. "Bella…" I say and reach out for her. But she avoids me, steps around me and heads for the door. Before she leaves she turns around.

"I'll see you soon again. I promise Edward." She says and holds my eye for a moment longer than she normally does. I just nod and sit down heavily in my chair. I wish I could say something to her to make her stay. The unspoken words are hanging in the air as ripe fruits just waiting to be plucked; don't go, don't go, please don't go. But I know they won't work so I say nothing.

I hear her heels as she heads for the elevator. I lean my head back and look out the window as I hear the ding of the elevator. I don't even notice the view, can't focus on anything but the fact that she's gone now. I wish the way my body is feeling wasn't tainted by the way my heart is feeling.

I wish it was me who was waiting for her at home.

**A/N: This story is inspired by a fantastic song by Turboweekend. If you haven't heard it you should… The lyrics are below this if you are interested. Please review! **

**Turboweekend – After hours**

Come by the office when there's no one but me around  
>I'll buzz you right up when everyone else has shut down<br>It's nice and quiet and it's nobody's business but ours  
>How we conduct ourselves in this room after hours<p>

I don't know if you've got somebody waiting...  
>I bet that someone like you, someone like you<br>Could have them waiting for hours

I'll show you the ropes of this machinery  
>In here we make big decisions. Tell me, do you like what you see?<br>From my window I've got a clear view of the towers  
>When the shadow crawls onto my desk I get an urge to work after hours<p>

I don't know if you've got somebody waiting...  
>I bet that someone like you, someone like you<br>Could have them waiting for hours


	2. Chapter 1

**A/N: Yeah. I know that I stated that there wasn't going to be more chapters to this story. But a girl can change her mind, right? I just couldn't stop thinking about this couple and my imagination was running amok with different scenarios. So this is the story of how they met, it's kind of like a prequel to chapter 1. I hope you enjoy and that it's not too far off from your own ideas… See you on the other side.**

I'm cursing on the inside. Why the fuck did I forget my phone? I had been on the way home, finally leaving the office a bit early. I had been standing there in the train patting down my front pocket looking for my phone to check my e-mails, when it had hit me that I had forgotten it at the office. So I had no other choice but to leave the subway at a random station and go back. So now I'm submerging to the street and it's fucking raining cats and dogs. I'm soaked in two seconds.

"Motherfucker…" I curse and lift the briefcase above my head to shelter me from the rain as much as possible and start to walk really fast. This is doing nothing to lighten my mood. The streets are almost empty of people, it's getting late and the rain is playing its part in keeping people inside.

I have to stop for a red light. Out of the corner of my eye I notice a woman standing next to me, waiting for the light to turn green. She has had the foresight to bring an umbrella. I look at the umbrella longingly and wish that my office is located a lot closer to the subway. I normally love the 10 minute walk from the subway to the office as it gives me a chance to wake up in the morning and get mentally ready for work. Now I wish that the office was fucking located _in_ the subway.

While I'm still eying her umbrella a car speeds by hitting the largest puddle of water in the street which is naturally located right in front of the crossing. It leaves us both completely covered in water, drenched to the core. I look over at her and we have the same shocked expression on our faces. She looks back at me and begins to smiles. I can't help but smile back. Her hair is sticking to her face and the water makes it hard to determine the color of her hair.

"So when I finally remember my umbrella this happens…" She says and shakes her head. I can't help but laugh a bit. Thank god she's here or else I wouldn't even begin to think what this would have done to my mood.

"I'm so wet." She says and tries to shake the water out of her coat. She has put down the umbrella by now and is completely surrendering herself to the rain.

I try not to let that statement go straight to my dick and instead point in the direction of my office. "I was just going back to my office, there's a shower and I think I have a dry shirt if you want..?" I let my sentence drift off. I immediately regret my offer. Off course she doesn't want to go to the office with me – I'm a complete stranger to her.

Instead she surprises me by saying: "It wouldn't be too much of a hassle? It's just that I have to meet some people later and I don't have the time to go home before." She looks at me expectantly. "Unless you're some kind of deranged killer waiting to get me alone…" She laughs.

That laugh. That smile. It's contagious. "I swear I'm a nice guy." I say and put my hand on my heart emphasizing my promise.

"All right then. You lead the way…" She says and pulls her jacket together. It's clear that she's freezing by now. Unfortunately I can do nothing to help her as all my clothes are just as drenched as her.

I lead her over the crossing and down the street. The office is only a couple of blocks away and before long I'm punching in the code at the door so we can enter the building. I point in the direction of the elevator and I'm grateful when it opens its doors to us immediately. Once inside the elevator I finally take a good look at her. She is looking down at her pumps clearly unhappy about the condition of her shoes and her distraction gives me ample opportunity to really look at her. She's beautiful. Her hair is long and already beginning to curl at the ends. Her small frame is obvious through her wet jacket. My eyes linger on her thighs. The water has made her skirt a little bit see-through so I can just make out the outline of stocking held up by a garter belt. I swallow audibly and as I look up I notice her looking at me. She has this half-smirk on her face. I should feel embarrassed being caught ogling her, but I'm not. Instead I can feel my body heat up. The look in her eyes tells me that she don't mind me looking. Holding my eyes long enough to make sure I'm paying attention she slowly lets her gaze wonder down my body lingering at my crotch. I swear I almost stop breathing. What is this woman doing to me?

The moment is interrupted by the ding of the elevator indicating that we have arrived at the right level. I lead her through the maze of cubicles to get to my office. She follows me without question and that gets to me. How can she already trust me so?

When we arrive at my office I show her the shower and leave to find a dry shirt for her. "I have only dress shirts here I'm afraid." I say as I hand her a white one. She takes it and looks really grateful. I leave her and sit down heavily in my chair. I can hear the sounds of her showering. I palm my face and try to think about something else than her in the shower. The idea that she is so close and naked is really getting to me. To distract myself I pull out a bottle of whisky from the bottom drawer and a couple of glasses. I pour a drink for myself and almost empty it in one gulp. It's been a while since I was last this affected by a woman.

A while later she emerges from the bathroom. She's looking absolutely glorious. She has my shirt on and it's pinned in at her waist by a big belt. The shirt is so big it's covering her thighs which I notice is bare except for the stockings.

"I left my skirt to dry on the heated towel rail if that's all right with you. It's just really wet…" She says and takes a few steps closer to the table. "Can I have one of those please?" She points to my drink.

"Of course." I say and internally curse myself for not having poured one for her as well. I top mine up while I'm at it. I point to the chair on the other side of the table and she sits down in it.

"Cheers." I say and lift my glass. She lifts it as well and swallows it all down in one gulp.

"Ah. That really hit the spot!" She says and smiles at me. That smile… "I'm Bella by the way." She reaches across the desk and puts out her hand for me to take.

"I'm Edward." I say as I take her hand. She holds on to it just a moment too long. "Edward. Is it okay if I wait here a little while? I would just really like for my clothes to dry up just a bit…" She holds my eyes. "I mean if you don't have anywhere else you should be?"

I shake my head. "I only had a date with my couch and the Chinese takeout. That can certainly be rescheduled so you can stay here for as long as you like…" I say with a smile. That elicits a laugh from her and my chest swells.

"You don't seem like the kind of guy who only has a date with a couch and Chinese takeout…" She looks at me through her lashes and then slowly takes a sip of her drink. How can I reply to that and not look like a total looser? So I don't, I just shrug. Silence ensues while she keeps looking at me.

"So Bella. What do you do?" I say trying to break the awkward silence.

She still has the smile on her face as she shakes her head. "Tut-tut. Is that really what you want to ask me Edward…?" Her eyes are burning and I finally notice how brown they are. I swear I almost drown in them and heat flushes through me.

To not turn into a babbling idiot I avert my eyes, clear my throat and take a big sip from my drink. When I finally meet her gaze once again I'm taken by surprise by the intensity in her eyes. "I guess not. Who are you going to meet tonight?" I try once again with the small talk.

She shakes her head again. "Why don't you ask me what you really want to know Edward?" She says and leans her head to the side. Every time she uses my name it goes straight to my dick. I can feel myself getting affected by her in ways I have never been before.

"Why are you here?" I finally croak out.

She puts her glass on the table and gets up. As she slowly walks around the table getting closer and closer to me she says "Yes, that is the question isn't it?" She puts her knees on either side of my legs and sits on the desk. She leans back and puts her weight on her hands behind her. This position enables me to really look at her. I can't help but notice the way my shirt rides up her legs and gives me a good view of her milky white smooth thighs. I swallow audibly and try to keep my cool. She looks at me as if she's expecting something of me. It hasn't escaped my notice that she hasn't answered a single of my questions. But my mind is starting to glaze over with lust for this woman.

"You like my thighs? You seem to look at them a lot…" She says and smiles seductively. As she lifts one of her legs and place her foot next to my thigh on the chair so they are touching I realize that I have lost all control. I'm simply following her lead. I keep my eyes on her thigh, so, so close now as I slowly nod. My hand moves to touch it and as I put my hand just above her knee, I let out a breath I didn't know I was holding. She leans her head back so that her neck is exposed to me. All that skin. Everything in me wants to nibble on it. I slide my hand up her thigh until the stocking ends. As I finally touch her uncovered thigh electricity goes through me and shoots straight for my dick. She's so soft. The touch makes her spread her legs a bit and I catch a glimpse of black panties. I can feel my cool slipping. My mouth is watering looking at her. I'm overwhelmed by the need to touch and taste her everywhere. I move my hands and place them at her waist. I roll the chair closer to her and while I keep my eyes locked on her face I slide my hands over her shirt and up. As my hands close around her tits I can feel myself getting harder. I have to look and as I move my eyes from her face to her tits I can't believe how erotic the sight is.

She looks down at me, clearly enjoying my state. "You are so hot Edward, do you know that? Do you know how wet you make me just by looking at you..?" She says and takes my hand and places it between her legs. I can feel how damp her panties are and if I wasn't sitting down I'm sure my knees would give out.

"Fuck…" I begin to rub her clit through her panties and she moans loudly. I need to taste her. I need to kiss her. I get up, keep my hand on her clit and pull her into me with the other. She makes a surprised sound which is soon muffled by my kiss. I kiss her hungrily without a big build up. I fucking have to have her. She lets go of the table and slips her arms around me to pull me closer to her. I'm soon assaulted by her tongue and as I let her in the taste of her is driving me crazy. I can feel my dick twitching and growing impossibly harder. The kiss turns frenzied. I'm overwhelmed by the need to have her closer, always closer.

She however pushes me gently away and breaks the kiss. As I lean back on my feet she slides off the table. "Sit down Edward." She commands me and I do. How can I not? She slowly takes the belt off and starts to unbutton the shirt one button at the time. The look on her face is priceless. I can see how turned on she is, I can't believe it. How can this be happening to me? I can't take my eyes of her as she drops the shirt on the floor. She is standing in front of me only in panties and a garter belt holding her stockings up. Her breasts are magnificent. The nipples are light brown and responding to me looking at them. I reach out to one of them with my hand, I have to touch, but instead of touching the whole breast I pinch her nipple. She gasps and rubs her legs together.

"Yes!" She hisses through clenched teeth. It's my turn to smirk, I'm glad that I'm affecting her as much as she's affecting me. She leans forward and starts to remove my tie.

"Let me see you Edward." She says and starts to undress me. I help her out as much as I can and almost bite my tongue when she starts on the zipper in my pants. She's barely touching me where I want her to touch me the most. I lift my ass as she pushes down my pants. I'm sitting in front of her almost naked except for my briefs. She leans back and looks at me. Really looks at me. And I know she likes what she sees when she licks her lips.

"Pull down your briefs…" She commands and I do. Her hungry eyes are following my every move. Her gaze is adding to the fire in me. God, I have to have her soon! My dick is leaking at the thought. As I throw them somewhere on the floor I lean back so she can get a good look at me.

I can feel her eyes lingering on my dick. "I have to taste you Edward. Will you let me?" She says and looks at me like she's really asking. How can she not know that all I can think about now is her lips wrapped around me? I nod and swallow. She slowly gets down on her knees and gently spreads my legs by pulling my knees apart. She licks her lips and leans forward.

I'm holding my breath. Every cell in my body is focused on the proximity of her mouth to my dick. It's twitching and leaking in anticipation. When she reaches it she puts out her tongue and slowly licks the precum of my slit. She makes a sound of appreciation and then wraps her lips around my head and sucks a bit. My eyes roll back in my head and my head falls back to rest on the chair. She slowly licks it getting it wet with her saliva. I'm dying here, the feel of her licking my dick is amazing but at the same time it's not enough. I want more. She finally decides that it's wet enough and she takes it into her mouth completely and begins to suck. She moans. I hiss. It feels… There are no words to describe it. My hands go to her hair. I look down at her and the sight is unbelievable. Her cheeks are hollow from the suction she is applying. It is a very good look on her. Everything in me is focused on her ministrations. To the point where I can feel myself slipping. I have to get her to stop or else I'm going to come. And I don't want it to end like that.

I gently push her off me. She looks at me with a questioning smile on her face. "Mmm, you taste good Edward…" She says and licks her lips.

"Fuck!" I can feel my dick twitching and I know I have to do something to distract myself straight away. So I get up from the chair and push her back on the desk. I kiss her hard. "Now it's my turn…" I say and smile as I continue to push her down so she is lying on the desk. I hold on to her legs and spread them for me. I begin to nibble her inner thighs just above the stockings. The noises she's making is spurring me on. As I get to the panties I take a deep breath smelling her. She smells fantastic. It's obvious that she wants this just as bad as me. I really want the panties gone but I can see that in order to take them off the garter belt will have to go as well. And that's just not going to happen, she looks too hot in it. So instead I grab onto the sides of the panties and rip them off her. This elicits a loud moan from her and I can't help but smile. She is pure sex, lying on my desk, wet and dripping. For me. Noone but me. I dive in. I take a slow long lick up her slit. She grabs on to my hair and spreads her legs even more for me. I continue to worship her, going slow. Driving her insane. I can feel her legs and abdomen trembling. I know I'm making her feel good. Her hands are pulling my hair and pushing me closer, urging me to go faster. But I have to get back some of the control so I keep her on the edge a bit longer.

Finally I put my mouth where I know she wants it the most. I suck on her clit, pushing two fingers in at the same time. She pulls my hair roughly and arches. She makes this sound that is just… Unf… It makes me go faster, be rougher. Slow and gentle is over and done with. I fingerfuck her while I work her clit. She is writhing, panting and on the brink of screaming. I finally let her come and she does so with a loud scream, tightening her thighs around me so I am locked in the position. And I can't help but think I'm in heaven. I keep licking her but slower now. Until she comes down and her thighs let me go. I look up at her and the look on her face almost do me in.

"I'm going to fuck you now!" I say making her breath hitch again. She smiles that smile. She's so eager now. I get up and turn her around. Her ass is up in the air, she's wriggling with it, inviting me in. Her pussy is wet, pink and swollen. I position myself at her entrance and before I push up into her I say: "The next time you come I want you to scream my name. Is that understood?"

"Yes! Fuck yes Edward. Do it. Do it please!" She moans. Who am I to deny her when she begs me like that? So I push into her slowly. I want to really feel her, savor the feeling. She feels incredible. All warm, tight and wet. Her wetness makes it easy for meto glide into her and I just stay there to get accustomed to the feeling of her. It's so much better than it normally is. Maybe it's because the sex is so unexpected. Maybe it's just her. But it's never been this good before.

"Fuck me Edward!" She says growing inpatient. She pushes her ass back at me and I find myself losing control again. So I do. I fuck her. I grab on to her hips and starts pounding into her. Her legs are quivering and she arches to give me better access. The sight of my dick pounding into her from behind, the garter belt and stockings, it's all adding fuel to the fire. I let go of her hip and grab a fistful of her hair. I pull it towards me and make her lean back against me so my chest is against her back. I bend my knees a bit so I can still fuck her deep and then grab on to her tits for dear life.

"You feel amazing Bella." I manage to croak out. I'm panting, my pulse is through the roof. She moans and lean her head back on my shoulder. I look down and see my hands working her tits. The sight is so erotic. Her nipples are fully erect and just begging to be sucked. I push into her a few more times before I pull out. She whimpers at the loss.

I sit back in the chair. "I want to suck your beautiful tits!" I say as I pull her down on my lap by grabbing the back of her knees. She complies willingly and puts her knees on either side of my thighs.

She positions herself and then lowers her pussy onto my dick. I close my eyes, overwhelmed by how good it feels and almost get lost in the feeling of filling her up again before I remember why I wanted this position. As I open my eyes I am met with the most incredible sight of her tits bouncing in front of my face. She is leaning back holding on to my thighs. Her head is thrown back and she is completely lost in the feeling of fucking me. I can't stop looking. I can't believe I'm doing this to her, that I'm the one making her feel like this. I grab her tits roughly and begin kneading them. I latch onto one of the nipples and begin sucking. I can feel the heat collecting in my dick and I know I'm close. But I really need her to come first. I bite her nipple and pinch the other hard. She seemed to like that earlier. This elicits a high pitched scream from her and her rhythm becomes more frantic. I let go of her breast and let my hand slide down. While I suck on her nipple I find her clit with the other hand. She's suddenly very quiet and I release her nipple to look at her hoping that I haven't done something wrong. But she's speeding up, her pace is increasingly frantic and her body is really tense. It's clear she's on the brink. So I push up into her and increase the friction on her clit with my fingers.

"Come for me Bella." I say and thank god she does. As soon as I can feel her inner muscles clenching she screams my name and begins to curse. It's so hot hearing this woman screaming my name and saying fuck that I can feel myself being pushed over the edge as well. I push up into her hard and let go. I come hard. It's almost like I leave my body for a moment with no thoughts left in my brain. The feeling of coming inside her is indescribable and the bliss that follows is like nothing I've ever experienced.

By the time I come to my senses again she's collapsed on my chest, panting. I put my arms around her and can't believe how small she feels in my arms.

"When can we do that again?" I say with a smile as I kiss her cheek. She doesn't answer me but just keeps lying on my chest catching her breath. I don't want to push her. But I know that I have to see her again. This is just too good to only experience once.

"Bella?" I ask. With that one word I'm asking her a million questions. She slowly lifts herself so she can look me in the eyes.

She softly touches my cheek and caresses it with her thumb. "Edward…" She says and I can feel her pulling away from me. She's suddenly thousands of miles away even if she's still sitting on my lab.

"Please Bella. I have to see you again." I say. The desperation I feel has nothing to do with love. It's like I've already become addicted to the feel of her. I have to be in her again.

She keeps on caressing my cheek. She leans forward and kisses me. It's not frenzied like earlier, but it's full of emotions and unspoken promises. She leans her forehead against mine and says: "I can't make you any promises Edward. But I would very much like to see you again as well…"

I nod. I look into her eyes and I can see the emotions in them. I'm dying to ask her all of the questions I have for her but I reign myself in. I'm sure there will be plenty of time for that later.

**A/N: Was it like you all imagined it would be? Reviews are better than a wet Edward (okay, I guess not, but they will still make me very happy…)**


	3. Chapter 2

**A/N: Hello Peeps! I hope you've all had a fantastic summer so far. I'm still on holiday so I've had some time to write another chapter. So many of you have encouraged me to continue this story and I've been very hesitant to do it, because RL just kicks my ass most of the time. But after careful consideration I've decided to just do it and see where it takes us. AH is not going to be long, just a few more chapters, like a novella... I wish I could promises about how often I'm going to update but I just can't do that. So I hope you will be patient with me... :)**

**This chapter is angsty, no surprises there, but consider yourself warned. **

**Disclaimer, disclaimer, blah, blah...**

**This is one long-ass A/N. I better stop now. See you on the other side! :)**

I'm having lunch with my sister Alice. She looks worried. I know what's coming, but how do I explain? My mood has been rapidly deteriorating. Alice will not be the first to notice and comment and I'm betting she won't be the last. It's been two weeks now since I last saw Bella. Every cell in my body is hungry for her and it's to the point where I almost can't sleep at night, my mind is filled to the brink with her. I'm beginning to realize that maybe I have too much invested in this. She's never given me any promises. She's never treated this, me, like she wants more than what we have now. But I know I do. I want so much more. I want to know her. My mind spins with all the questions I have for her.

I snap out of it when Alice gently pushes my shoulder. "Christ Edward, have you listened to a word I've said to you?" She says and looks really annoyed and worried at the same time. I guess it's a look sisters have down to perfection. I'm treated to it a lot these days it seems.

I sigh and shake my head. "I know you're worried, just don't Alice..."

She gives me an incredulous look. "Edward, what is going on with you? Why can't you tell me?"

I wish I could. I really do. But I know how it looks. How it sounds. I'm in love with somebody I fuck. I know absolutely nothing about her except what makes her come and how she feels like. How can I be in love with her? How is it possible that she can take over my life to the point where it seems I can't function without her?

It almost feels like I'm being punished. I've always had it easy. Too easy almost. A nice family, nice grades, good schools, good job, lots of friends and no problems getting laid. This is the first time it's not easy. She is the first to not just give into me. I hate to admit it but I know that's part of the lure. But it's also so much more. I just can't come up with how I can convince her of this. How I can talk her into giving me a chance.

-AH-

Hours later I'm at the office. I'm hoping she will come. I try to distract myself with work but my eyes keep going to the intercom and I've even picked up the phone a couple of times just to check if it's still working. I suck. After waiting around for her for two hours I finally decide to pack up. I'm dragging my feet hoping that the extra minutes will make her appear.

I'm by the door with my jacket over my arm and my briefcase in hand when the buzzer sound. The sudden sound in the quiet makes me jump and I drop everything to reach the buzzer as fast as I can. I'm suddenly frantic, picking up my jacket and briefcase and throwing them into the corner. I sit down in my chair and try to look calm.

It takes forever for her to get to my office. I'm hard and ready for her by the time she's at the door.

My eyes roam her body taking in what she's wearing today - a simple long sleeved black dress – and I try to decipher what that means. When my eyes finally reach her face I stop. The look on her face is different. She's not smiling. She looks much too serious. Everything in me drops. I suddenly know what's coming. It oozes of her. She's telling me goodbye.

I stand up. I have to change her mind, I have to do _something_. It doesn't take me long to reach her. I pull her into my arms and before she can begin to speak I kiss her. I kiss her hard and desperate. I can feel her body going rigid and she gently tries to push me away. But I'm not giving in. I'm not going to give her even a second to catch her breath and remember what it is she is going to say. Slowly she gives herself over to the kiss, to me. I continue my attack as my hands begin to roam her body. I never stop kissing her, I can't give her the ability to speak. I'm kneading her breasts making her moan, pinching her nipples through the dress. It suddenly hits me that this dress isn't for me. For the first time she's not dressed for me. She's almost completely covered and there's no easy access to her body.

This does something to me, makes me more desperate. I'm frantically pulling at her dress, trying to get access to her thighs. To her pussy. I want to feel her, I need to feel her. The desperation seems to be contagious, she's pulling at my clothes now just as much as me. She's spreading her thighs making it easy for me. I push her panties to the side and am finally there. She's already wet and ready, just as ready as me it seems, so I push two fingers into her. I swallow her gasps with my mouth. I want more. I pull my fingers out of her and opens my pants. My dick is so ready for her it almost hurts.

I hoist her up and push her against the wall. I'm surrounding her, dominating her. Not giving her a chance to think about what's happening. But it's clear she likes it. She locks her ankles behind me showing me how much she wants it. Wants me. I push into her, hard and frantic. My hands are on her ass, holding her up. My mouth is still covering hers, consuming all her sounds, even though I would rather be hearing them. But I can't let her speak.

I can feel the burn in my arms, my thighs, my buttocks. It doesn't matter. I would hold her like this forever if I could. This is my heaven. Buried deep in her. I can feel her contracting around me. I know she's close. I should stop now, change it up, keep her on the edge. But I'm too far gone myself, I can't stop.

When she comes not even my mouth can quiet the sounds she makes. The feel of her coming apart in my arms like this pushes me over as well. The orgasm hits me hard and long. It makes my knees weak and I can't hold us up anymore. We slide down to the floor, sitting on top of each other in a heap of me and her. I'm still feeling the orgasm which makes it impossible for me to know where I begin and she ends.

We sit like this for a while. I'm uncomfortable, my legs are folded up under me in an impossible angle and I'm hot from still having my suit on. But I don't move. I'm afraid to break the bubble we're in. I can feel her stirring and I bury my face in her hair. I don't want her to move. I close my eyes and wait for the inevitable to happen.

"Edward..." she starts. She's hesitant. Like she knows that what I just did was to avoid hearing the words she's bound to say.

"Please don't Bella..." is all I can say. I want to stay like this forever. Surrounded by her smell, by her.

I can feel her hands soothingly touch my hair. Like a mother comforting a small child. I'm suddenly ashamed of myself. What have I become? This isn't like me at all. I've never given over control like this before to a woman.

"You know what I'm about to say Edward. I know you don't want to hear it. But it doesn't change the fact that it's going to happen." She stops touching my hair. She leans back against the wall. I follow, keeping my eyes closed and my face against her shoulder.

"I have to take a break from this Edward, from you. It's getting too intense for me. I can't continue like this anymore Edward." She says. Fast like pulling off a band aid.

I can feel the anger bubbling under the surface. What the fuck is she talking about. Too intense for her...? At least she's the one in control. She's the one calling all the shots. Too intense...? I have to get away from her. I push away from her from the floor. I stand up eager to get my clothes in order. I cannot have this conversation with her with my pants around my ankles. My hands are shaking. I'm terrified of losing her but so angry at her at the same time.

"Too intense Bella...? Really...?" I finally say. I wish it was more eloquent. When I look at her her expression is crestfallen.

"Just a break Edward. I'm not saying we can never see each other again." She stands up as well, getting her clothes in order. Which seems to be so much easier for her than for me. This makes me even angrier.

"Really? So what am I supposed to do? Just wait around the office every night until you decide that the intensity has lessened? Until you're too horny or just wants to forget what the fuck you're involved with for a while?" I can feel my face heat up. I'm so angry now that I'm finding it hard to not scream the words at her. It's obvious that she can feel the anger in me. She doesn't say anything to me. She just stands there and takes it.

"I've done nothing but make myself available to you!" I finally scream, the anger bubbling over.

She cringes against the wall. Which makes me feel even more of an ass for screaming at her. "I've never made you any promises." She finally says. How can she say that?

"No? You must know how I feel about you. You don't think that every time you show up here you are making me promises?" I'm not screaming anymore. I feel deflated. I can feel all my strength leaving me.

She doesn't even answer me. She just shakes her head and takes a step toward me. She reaches for my face but I take a step back from her. Her tender touch on my cheek is the last thing in the world I want right now. "I'm so sorry Edward. This was never my intention. I really hope you believe me." Her eyes are wet. She looks at me, imploring me to believe her with her eyes. I can't. I don't want to make it easier for her to do this to me.

I turn my back to her. Look out the window. My head is spinning. My heart is screaming for me to turn back around and beg her to not leave me. But I just keep standing there. She stays still for a couple of minutes, hoping I will turn back around. But I don't. I finally hear her gathering her things. She pauses at the door, waiting for me to say something to her. But I don't. I don't want to look at her, don't want her to see the tears that have already started to fall. After a short while I hear her leave. I can hear the sound of her heels all the way to the elevator.

**A/N: I hoped you enjoyed! Reviews are better than a frantic Edward... :)**


	4. Chapter 3

**A/N: So this is the long awaited chapter where you get answers to some of your questions. I've had a lot of problems with this chapter but in the end I thought "fuck it – just post it!" so that's what I'm doing. I hope I don't disappoint… **

**See you on the other side.**

I'm trying to concentrate on what she's saying. I really am. But most of what comes out of this chicks mouth is just so fucking boring it's impossible for me not to let my mind wander. I sit back in my chair to stop it from wandering to _her_, I don't want to think about _her_ anymore.

I'm at this fancy restaurant. It's the new best thing in town and we're sitting on these awful stools where there's no chance in hell you'll ever feel comfortable. But that's not important. What's important is to be seen here, to be noticed. At least to my date. I'm thinking part of the allure is to be seen here with me, but I keep that to myself. I regain my thoughts to focus back to her. She's still talking. I think it's about the food so I nod and take a bite of it to show her that I'm paying attention to her. I don't want to be a bad date. The food is not bad. But it's not fantastic either.

I would rather be… Well, almost anywhere. But I promised myself that I would get the old Edward back, pre-Bella, and start to date again. This is my third date with this chick. Lauren what's-her-name. She's cute and even funny at times. But she's just not very interesting. She's all about the appearances. She knows who is who and who has done what and who. I was born into this setting. I've done all I can so far to not tap into that dating-pool. But I just had to do something to get away from always thinking about _her_. And these are by far the easiest dates for me to get. My mother would be so happy.

I rub my eyes with the palms of my hands and try to get back into the conversation. "…and then I said that there's just no way she should have to wait that long. I mean three weeks, can you believe it..?" She says and looks at me appalled at the notion of having to wait for something for three weeks. I smile at her and take a big gulp of my wine to stop myself from having to answer her.

Suddenly she grips my arm. "OMG!" I can't believe I'm out with someone who spells it out instead of saying it like real people does. "Is that Bella Black?" I follow her line of sight, not really that excited until I see who she is talking about. There _she_ is. Talking with the hostess with what looks like a couple of girlfriends on the tow. My mind stops, my body is on high-alert. I've only seen her out of the office that first time. It's so hard to comprehend her being here, being actually real outside the setting of an almost-empty office building. She looks so frail. Her hair is up in a bun, she's in semi-casual evening wear and she has enormous bags under her eyes. She looks like she's been crying and trying to cover it up. I hope it's me she's been crying over.

I'm suddenly more interested in what Lauren has to say so I lean into her. "Should I know who Bella Black is?" It hurts to say her name out loud.

Lauren leans into me and slaps my arm playfully while laughing. "Oh Edward, you're so funny. Off course you know Bella Black. She's Charlie Swan's daughter." I look at her like I have absolutely no idea of what she's talking about which is pretty much how I feel.

"Charlie Swan who's head of the Swan-empire?" Well, off course I know the Swan-empire, but I don't know that I should know about _her_. I still look confused. "I swear Edward, did your mother teach you nothing?" I sigh at this, I'm sure that if I ever had paid attention to any of this high-society crap I would have known. But I didn't so I don't.

"Anyhoo, she married that Jakob Black some years ago." She's married? My heart drops and I'm suddenly not sure I want to hear the rest of what she has to say. "They were quite the power couple." Were? My heart leaps back in place and my hope is rising.

"So she's not married to him anymore then?" I manage to croak out. Hoping that I'm not too conspicuous. I've never been this interested in anything Lauren's been talking about before.

But she doesn't notice. Actually she seems rather pleased that I'm indulging in gossip with her."No. Have you really not heard about this?" She looks at me like I'm an illiterate.

I shake my head motioning for her to continue. "He died last year. From cancer." She whispers the last two words like if she spoke them loudly cancer would be contagious. She has this grimace on her face like she's trying to look empathic but it comes out more like scornful. I suddenly don't like her very much.

I lean back in my uncomfortable stool. I can't help but look at Bella. Lauren leans into me and goes in for the kill. "Off course she's been in pieces ever since. She should really do something about those bags under her eyes, can you believe how she looks? I mean I know she's like mourning and all, but how she can let herself deteriorate like that is beyond me…" She smiles and fucking winks at me before leaning back and sipping her wine.

Okay, now I just don't like her, I'm fucking close to hating her. I can feel myself growing unbearably protective of Bella, but I can't let Lauren know this. I shift so I can look at _her _again. Bella's following the hostess to her table and my heart suddenly leaps in my chest when I realize that that is going to take herby our table. She looks back while she walks to say something to the girlfriend behind her and when she looks forward again her eyes land on me. I can see her body go rigid and she looks at me like she doesn't understand. Then her eyes land on Lauren and I can see when she gets it. I want to shout at her that I'm not with this girl, not really, but I don't.

She stops when she reaches our table. "Lauren, how are you doing?" She says and does the funny kiss on the cheek-thing that you are supposed to do. But her eyes never really leave mine.

"Bella. Good thank you. Imagine seeing you here… This is my boyfriend Edward." Lauren says and averts the attention to me. I cringe at how she calls me boyfriend and I want to put it right so Bella doesn't get the wrong idea, but I don't. I stick my hand out to her and she catches it with her eyebrows locked together in a tight grimace. Like she's trying to understand the word "boyfriend" in the same setting as Lauren and me.

"Nice to meet you." I say quietly and she returns my statement with something just as generic. They exchange a few more pleasantries and then Bella and her entourage move on. I'm torn. I'm eager to finish so I can get away from her, but at the same time I've missed her so much that I just want to stay and be as close to her as I can.

I try to discreetly rearrange myself so I can look at her while I finish my meal. She looks like she's having a hard time concentrating on her girlfriends and she keeps casting glances at me. I'm so drawn to her that Lauren cease to exist and I'm in this bubble of me and her. It makes me want to punch myself. I'm mad at myself again, I'm hating the control she still has over me. I want to kiss Lauren just to get back at her. But I don't. The sight of her sitting there, looking so frail and tired gets to me. How could I not have noticed this before?

Days go by. I still try my hardest to not think about her. I've even contemplated trying to look her up a couple of times but I push the idea out of my head as fast as I can. She knows where to find me if she wants to see me.

I try to go back to my life as it was before. I try to enjoy working, meeting my friends, working out. I try to concentrate on what my dates are actually saying. But if I'm being honest with myself I know it's not working. I'm angry at myself all the time for not being able to let her go. For not being able to forget and go back to how things was before her.

My friends and my family are glad that they are seeing more of me. They don't really notice that I'm only trying. It makes me wonder how well they really know me. Except my sister Alice. Sometimes she gives me this look, like she knows. Like she understands and feels for me. It somehow makes me feel less alone.

I think it's because I've been home more. That must be it. My mum has somehow convinced herself that because I'm around more I somehow will be interested in going to the stuffy high-society parties with them.

"Don't act like a sullen teenager Edward." She chides. We're at my place, she just dropped by to say hello. "It's only a fundraiser. And besides you might meet someone you like…" She says and winks at me.

I smile a bit and shake my head. "I just don't do those parties, Mom, you know that." I've never liked being born into something.

But a week later, I find myself in a tux riding in a towncar with my family on the way to that very same fundraiser. My mom looks ecstatic. This is the first time in forever that the whole family has attended a party together. Seeing the look in her eye and the smile on her face makes me decide that it's worth a night of complete boredom.

As the towncar arrives in front of the art museum and my family starts pouring out of the car I suddenly notice the banners out front. My body goes rigid and my breath is caught in my throat. I grip my mom's arm to stop her from exiting the car. "Mom, what is this fundraiser for?" I manage to croak out. I can barely recognize my own voice.

"It's for the Black-Swan Cancer Foundation. Now come on, Edward." She says and impatiently pushes me out of the car.

I let the family lead me inside. It's like everything is collapsing inside of me but luckily nobody notice me not participating. My mom is still talking happily, filling me in. "Isn't it just a lovely thought to create a foundation for Cancer in honor of Jacob Black? It was just a terrible thing him dying so young. And poor Bella, being widowed so young, they were such a lovely couple…" She sounds genuinely upset and I just stand there and look at her, I don't even nod or acknowledge what she just told me.

My family moves on and leaves me in the foyer. I'm frozen. Will she be here? Of course she will, it's a fundraiser in honor of her fucking dead husband. What should I say to her? Should I even speak to her? Does she even want me to? Suddenly I don't want to be here. I've spend so much time repressing the memories of her only to have it come back on full force just being in her vicinity.

I'm stuck in my thoughts until I feel a hand on my elbow. "Come on Edward." Alice says. She has that look on her face like she knows and she pulls slightly on my arm to start me moving.

She leads me to the table where the rest of my family is situated. "Just get through tonight. You never know what is going to happen…" She says and kisses me gently on the cheek. I just look at her, astounded by my sister. She smiles at me and motions for me to sit down. I do. I try to shake the frozen feeling and follow her advice.

A couple of hours later I'm sorta drunk. And I really just want to leave. I've had to sit through several talks about the severity of cancer, heartbreaking talks but I have no problem listening to them, but then there were the couple of talks about how fantastic Jacob Black was. I find myself ordering one drink after another to get through those. I just don't want to know.

And then Bella enters the stage. She looks good in a dark blue cocktail dress with her hair flowing down her back. She stands in front of the microphone and starts by thanking us all for being here. I can feel my body start to heat up and my heart rate go through the roof. Suddenly my tux is too tight and warm and I have to be anywhere else but here. My eyes dart across the room trying to locate an exit that I can use without being to conspicuous. But then Alice puts her hand on my thigh and grounds me. She never looks away from Bella but just the simple touch assures me that I can stay and listen.

"When Jacob was first diagnosed…" Bella starts her talk. I'm mesmerized by her. She looks good up there. Confident and strong. But with a touch of fragility so everybody knows she's still mourning her late husband. I'm having such a hard time reconciling this Bella with the sexual Bella who's been visiting my office.

After all the talks the dance floor opens up and I'm at the bar. I watch her from a far but can't seem to bring myself to approach her. She doesn't know I'm here. She never even once looks my way. I watch her dance and make small talk and work the room. She's good at this. It's so strange watching her in this setting. Seeing her interact with other people. My glass is empty again so I order a whisky and take it with me.

There's a small balcony next to the bar that I escape into. As I close the door behind me and shut out the noise of the party I can feel myself let out a breath I didn't realize I've been holding. My head is filled to the brink with what has happened tonight and all the things I've learned about her. My heart is filled with too much swirling emotions threatening to break from all the pressure. I put a hand on my chest as if I can hold it together by doing that. I look out over the city and wish everything could be easier.

Suddenly I hear the door open and close behind me. "I'm not really in the mood to talk right now Alice." I say.

"Who's Alice..?" I hear her say. I turn around surprised.

Bella. "What are you doing here?" is all I can say to her.

She smiles that special smile and says "This is kind of my party. What are _you_ doing here?" She takes a step closer to me and I fight the urge to take a step back.

"I wish I knew…" I say and take a drink of my whisky. I avert my eyes from her and look out over the city again. It hurts too much to look at her.

She moves to stand next to me on the balcony. "Is Alice your new girlfriend? Or are you still going out with Lauren?" She's trying to sound confident and blasé but I can hear her voice trembling.

I shake my head and sigh. I'm fighting the urge to fall to my knees and beg her to go back to the way things were but I know I could never survive that.

"What do you want from me Bella?" I finally look at her. I'm not prepared for the pain that is in her eyes.

"Will you let me explain Edward? Just please… Please try to understand…" She's trying to find the words that will make me want to listen.

"I really do have feelings for you…" She almost whispers and looks at me pleadingly. Her hand reaches for me and I have to close my eyes as her fingers brush against my jaw. My breathing hitches and I'm confronted with all my feelings for her.

Just as she opens her mouth to continue the door opens. "Bella, we're waiting for you to announce the proceeds." A guy with headphones is saying to her. Her hand has left my jaw the second the door started to open and she nods at the guy and tells him she will be right there.

She looks at me again. "Can we talk? Can we meet up and just… Please just let me explain Edward. I need to explain this to you." She's begging me. I can't believe she's begging. How can I resist. I give her my address and she promise to meet me when the party is over. I lead her back to the party and with big wide eyes and a smile on her face she promises to see me later.

I go back to my family feeling shell shocked. And very eager for this party to be over…

**A/N: Yeah, so there you have it. I hope you guys is still on board. We have one chapter left. **

**Reviews are better than Edward in a tux… **


	5. Chapter 4

**A/N: Yeah, so… Last chapter! Enjoy, and I'll see you on the other side… **

I'm pacing my apartment. Burning a hole in the rug. Once again willing the time to pass faster so she'll be here. Once again I'm the one waiting for her. Wondering if she will actually show.

A knocking alerts me to the fact that she's finally here. She actually came to me. I try to patiently take my time opening the door but I'm hardly kidding myself. I'm dying to know. Dying to hear her explanation.

When I open the door I still to just take her in. She still looks stunning in her dress. She doesn't look like she has been the host of a party tonight. She doesn't even look tired. She has a fire in her eyes I'm not sure I've ever noticed before.

Without words I stand aside so she can come in. She takes in my apartment without commenting but I'm guessing that the small smile on her face is there because she doesn't hate it. I lead her into the living room. The way she looks at me makes me want to squirm. I suddenly feel like a teenager again I'm so anxious around her. She on the other hand looks comfortable and at ease. It's obvious that this is a façade she is good at keeping. It's only the very slight tremor of her hands that alerts me to the fact that maybe she's not so calm on the inside.

She's looking out the window, giving me a chance to study her profile. "Did you know that I was actually planning on leaving him?" she says and looks at me briefly before turning her attention back to the view. "The kicker is that I had packed a bag and was halfway out the door the day he told me he had been diagnosed with cancer. He didn't even know I was going to leave him, I didn't get a chance to tell him. And how could I leave him when he was sick?"

She looks at me like I'm supposed to have an answer. I don't. I just continue staring at her, not saying anything. This was definitely not the way I thought this conversation was going to start.

"It became clear pretty early on that he was terminal. The cancer was just too aggressive to be treated. And all the while he was withering away I had to put on a show of being the perfect wife. I had to seem to be dying with him. The truth was I had been dying for a long time in that marriage. Marrying Jacob was a mistake. I didn't love him like I should have." Her eyes are fixed on something in the distance but she's not seeing it. I'm still just staring at her. Oddly relieved by her confession.

"After Jacob died it just became even worse. Everybody expected me to play the part of the mourning widow. And I hated it. I was sad sure, Jacob had been a very good friend for a long time. But I wasn't mourning like a wife should be."

She turns so she is facing me. She takes a few steps towards me bringing her closer to me. She looks at me. Really looks at me. And I swear I almost loose myself in her eyes, in the way she sees me. She reaches out and pushes a lock of hair on my forehead away. "And then you came along. Do you know that I couldn't believe you didn't know me when we met?" she smiles that half smile that makes me crazy. I swallow hard and shake my head.

"It was so exhilarating to not be recognized. I quickly realized who you were. You look so much like your father Edward." She says this smiling and it's so contagious that I can't help but smirk back at her. This is not the first time I've been told I look like my dad. "But you were so different. You seemed like you just didn't care." She takes one step closer to me which brings her much closer to my body. I can almost feel her heat through my clothes. She's so close that if I stretched my fingers out I would be touching her.

"You made me feel alive Edward. For the first time in a very, very long time." She has lowered her voice to almost a whisper. Her gaze has locked onto my lips. I can't help but lick them and the way that tiny movement makes her breathing hitch goes straight to my crotch. The air is sizzling around us. I'm struggling to remember why I shouldn't just consume her. Kiss her until I can't breathe.

She steps even closer into me. We are now touching from my knees to my chest. She gets even closer as she leans into me and rises up on her toes to whisper in my ear. "I wanted you like I've never wanted anything in my life." She leans back a bit until she's sure she has my eyes. "Still do." She says.

My mind is churning. My eyes are searching her face for signs that she's just fucking with me again. But all I can see is desire and something more I can't really define.

She begins nibbling on my chin. "Tell me to stop Edward… Tell me you don't want this…" she says as she places wet kissed down my neck.

I close my eyes and try not to lose myself in the feeling of her kissing me. She's laying it on the line. Her vulnerability is throwing me off. I'm not used to seeing her like this. And I can't speak. I can't say stop. I want her too god damn much. As her hands begin to untie my bow tie I'm still frozen in place. But that doesn't stop her. She continues her ministrations with her mouth and continues to rid me of my clothes. When my jacket and shirt are discarded she kneels down to remove my pants. My mind is on over-drive from her being that close to my dick and the way she looks up at me through impossibly long eyelashes as she is unzipping my pants doesn't help one bit. But her eyes are bottomless pools of longing. It's clear she needs me. And that makes me forgive her. Forgive her for not telling me and including me in her life. As my pants slide down my legs and she smiles at the way my dick is straining against my briefs I know we can't do it like this.

"No Bella…" I say. She looks up at me startled and confused. I gently caress her chin and pull her up on her feet. She looks like she's going to fall apart so I pull her into my arms.

"This time we are doing this my way. And I don't want to fuck you in my living room." I say and pull back just enough that I can see her eyes. "I want to make love to you properly. And I want to do it in my bedroom for once…" I smile at her and push a stray lock of her out of her eyes. The look on her face makes me want to kiss her and hold her and never let go. She is smiling at me in a way I've never seen her smile before. And that makes me fall impossibly more in love with her. As I take her hand and gently lead her down the hallway to my bedroom I know that this is our new beginning.

THE END

**A/N: Phew. Don't hate on me for the shortness. I must admit that it surprised me as well, but there you have it… But if you still are curious about Bella I wouldn't mind doing a BPOV. Let me know and I'll write one if you want me to… **

**Thanks for reading – I really appreciate it! And all your feedback makes me smile! :D**


	6. BPOV

**A/N: Soooooo…. Finally the BPOV! It took some time but let me tell you, Bella is a wordy lady, she just went on and on and on… Kinda like this AN. So without further ado, here she is (see you on the other side):**

After Hours – BPOV:

The first time I saw him we were 7. He was alluring to me even then. His black hair, golden complexion and dark eyes seemed so exotic to me. His dad had brought him along for a business meeting with my dad and he was left with me to play. I was old enough to begin to understand that I had responsibilities and I tried my best to be the perfect hostess to him. But he had other ideas. He always did. He lured me outside, even though I knew my dad would not be pleased by this, and we spend the afternoon playing catch in the small patch of orchard we had in the garden. When we were finally collected by our dads we were both covered in mud but I didn't care. I could see my dad wasn't pleased with me but I couldn't help but laugh when Jacob winked at me before he was ushered into the waiting car by his dad. After that day we were best friends.

-AH-

When we were 14 we spend most of the summer lounging by my pool. Jacob kept insisting that my pool was better than his although I really didn't see the difference. But I didn't argue with him. As long as he wanted to spend time with me I couldn't complain. I was still thin as a nail with absolutely no shapes to prove my gender. He started the summer being small but shot up considerably during that summer. As we said our goodbyes to leave for our schools I noticed how much he had changed and that left me feeling confused. He began to occupy my thoughts in a different way as we were apart.

-AH-

When we were 17 he took my virginity. We had been skirting around each other for a while and I was beginning to understand that my feelings for him had changed. I didn't just want to be his best friend anymore. He had shed the awkwardness of his newfound body and he appeared strong and confident. And he completely knocked me of my feet that summer. The past year had done wonders for my body and I was very aware of how his eyes had followed me when I had showed up in a skimpy bikini by the pool. He tried not to let it show but I couldn't help but notice the bulge in his shorts as I immerged from the water after taking a short swim. I knew my nipples was straining and would be evident in the small bikini but I pretended not to know. This was all a part of a plan I had concocted to finally win Jacob over and get him to notice me. I spend the next week slowly driving him crazy with skimpy outfits and innuendoes. I reveled in the heat of his stare and the obvious control I had over his body. By the end of the first week he finally cracked and took me into his arms and kissed me. Really kissed me. Not my first kiss, but definitely my best. He was gentle but demanding at the same time. The kiss held all kinds of promises of things to happen. And when he finally let me go and held his forehead to mine I knew. I knew that I was in love with him. The next couple of weeks went by in a haze of make out sessions and getting more and more eager to progress our relationship. We were seventeen and horny. So even if my father was trying his best to chaperone us we off course found a way around it. We finally did it underneath the stars in the little balcony outside my window. It wasn't the best sex but I knew I was with Jacob and that made it perfect. Afterwards he kissed me and held me tight and told me that he loved me. I had never been happier in my life. And I really did love him back.

-AH-

By the time we were 21 we were engaged. It was expected by both our families as we had been together for so long. Neither of us argued with that logic. We were still in love. It wasn't a fiery and all consuming love by that point but I was content and still convinced that he would make me happy. I was still in uni taking my degree in English literature. Nobody really planned for me to work after uni. But I did and I wanted my degree. Jacob knew and accepted my wishes to have a career. I just couldn't bear the thought of just sitting at home doing nothing. I was never going to be that kind of wife. The date of the wedding was set after I finished school. Jacob was going to law school. He was excelling but that was to be expected with his background. The future looked bright.

-AH-

We married at 22. The wedding was enormous with more people attending than I had ever met in my life. But that was to be expected when there was a merger between two of the most important and influential families in the state. It was the social event of the year. I wore a beautiful dress that had been specially designed for me by a big Italian designer. I was nervous to be the center in front of so many people, but as I walked down the aisle with my dad by my side all I could see was Jacob. And he was looking at me like he was the luckiest person in the universe. And I knew, really knew, that we were meant to be together. That he was the one for me. I said "I do" clearly and without any hesitation when the minister asked if I wanted to be Jacob's wife.

-AH-

I was 23 the first time I realized that things weren't perfect between us. I had my eyes set on this position in a foundation for terminally ill children. It was my dream job and I had put a lot on the line to get it. And to be perfectly honest I was expecting to get it, like I had been getting everything I had ever wanted my entire life. So I was very, very surprised when I got the call that I didn't get it. I was devastated. I called Jacob right away. Looking to be consoled and relying on him to make me feel better. Like he always did. Instead he kept telling me that it was for the best. That it was time for us to have children. That it was time for me to forget my stupid notion about a career. He basically made it pretty obvious that he didn't really want his wife to work. As I put the phone down I stared at the receiver for a long time. Unable to process what had just happened. Did we really just have that conversation? But later when he came home with flowers and I was standing there in his big arms I couldn't help wonder if it was me who was in the wrong. Shouldn't I want to be what my husband wanted me to be?

-AH-

I was 25 the first time I looked at him and thought to myself that I didn't know him anymore. Not really. The man standing in my kitchen, drinking the coffee I had just made, was really just a stranger to me. We didn't really talk anymore. I didn't seem to be doing anything that was interesting enough for him to give me any attention when I was talking to him. Once in a while he would bark out instructions like "Don't put that on, don't wear your hair like that". I was still the perfect accessory when we went to parties. As he wished I had stopped thinking about a career. But I didn't allow him to change my mind about having kids. I just wasn't ready. And somewhere deep inside of me I knew that Jacob, this Jacob he had become, was not a man I wanted to have children with. But I kept myself busy doing what I was expected to do. And I completely ignored how my gut was screaming at me that this wasn't the kind of life I wanted to live.

-AH-

I was 26 when I knew that I had to leave him. We were two strangers living in the same house. Only interacting when we went out. And even then he would only touch me when he had to. Take my hand to lead me to the table but then he would let it go the minute he could. I often found myself lost in thoughts of what went wrong. When did he change? How much did I change? I knew there were rumors about affairs. But I ignored them. I couldn't blame him, not really. We hadn't had a sex life in a very, very long time. The realization that I didn't, couldn't even care that he was sleeping around made me realize that I had to leave him. Made me realize that I had no feelings left for him. At least not as a husband. I deserved better. He deserved better. But this realization did not make it easier to leave him. I knew very well what everybody was expecting of me. Of us. Everybody was already pushing for children. They couldn't understand my hesitance.

And then one day it just became too much. It had been a typical morning, we were both doing our normal morning routines and when he left it occurred to me that we hadn't said a single thing to each other. No "Good morning" or "Did you sleep well?". Not even a "Goodbye, see you later". I just couldn't stay with him anymore. I packed a bag with bare essentials and sat on the bed trying to figure out whether I should leave him a note or stay to talk to him when he came home. Before I had figured out what to do I could hear him by the door. This was very unusual for him to be home that early and when I saw his face I knew something was up. He sat me down by the kitchen table and told me very calmly that he had been diagnosed with cancer. I was stunned to silence. I just looked at him as he explained how he had been diagnosed and how he hadn't told me anything about his suspicions because he didn't want me to worry. I was paralyzed by his calmness. And as realization slowly washed over me that he was really sick, I knew that I couldn't leave him. The look in his eyes spoke volumes. He still loved me. And he needed me. He took my hand and told me that he wished things were different. That he was sorry for how things were between us. But that he really needed me now to fight that battle with him by his side. How could I not? He was in many ways still Jacob, the man I fell in love with and married. I at least owed him that much. And a part of me acknowledged how good it felt to be needed by him again. Later that day I found myself unpacking my bag, never divulging to him how close I had been to leaving him.

Jacob's battle with cancer was short and tough. He fought hard, he kept saying he was too young to die but the cancer didn't care. It kept on infecting him and changing his once beautiful hard body to something fragile and grey. He lost most of his charisma and the warmth in his eyes was replaced by anger. He was so mad at the world for not being able to live. And as his days became numbered he told me over and over "I wish I could have done things differently Bells…" And I believed him. But it still didn't change the fact that things had happened. That we had become estranged in our marriage and that the only feelings I had left for him was for him being my friend. As his friend I was sad for him. But as his wife I was oddly numb. Somehow this felt like the out I had been looking for. And that thought kept me awake at night with guilt. I had to be strong for him, I held his hand while he received chemotherapy and helped him getting around when he became so weak he needed a wheel chair. I never let him know how I felt. In a sense I was utterly alone. Everybody was expecting me to feel heartbroken and despaired. But the truth of the matter was I felt none of those things.

The closer we got to the end the more I resented him. I resented him for being weak, for needing me so much. I resented him for dying. I was like an empty shell and being around other people who knew how we used to be just made it so much harder. Looking into their eyes and seeing their pity made me want to spit at them. But I still behaved the way they expected me to behave. I just let go and let my upbringing lead my way. I pretended to care, I pretended not to be angry. Most were out to see tears. But I found that really hard. I just couldn't cry in front of others. My tears only came late at night when I was lying in bed. I would cry for who I had become. I didn't understand all my resentment. Why couldn't I just mourn like a normal person? But I felt like I had wasted so much of my life on this man already and some nights I almost couldn't wait for him to die. For this limbo to be over. I wasn't able to move on but I hated where I was now. And who I was.

Four months after being diagnosed Jacob died. I was with him and held his hand. He had been going in and out of consciousness for a couple of days and it became clear he was dying. The nurse we had hired came to get me in the shower and told me that this was it. Jacob had wanted to die at home. He hated the idea of going to the hospital. He wanted to be home surrounded by the people he loved. I called his parents and his sisters and told them to hurry up. Thankfully they all arrived before Jacob died and he got his wish. When he drew his last breath we were all there, surrounding him. I could feel life leaving him. As I held his hand I just knew the second it happened. His hand quickly became cold and the nurse left us to make arrangements. Sitting there holding his cold hand I finally let go. I cried. For the first time since his diagnose I cried in front of others. I sobbed and had a hard time catching my breath. He was really gone. And I didn't feel relieved. I felt tremendous grief and incredibly guilty. Like it was my fault for wishing his death to be fast.

The next month went by in a daze. I hardly had anything to do with his funeral. I let our mothers take over and take care of all the arrangements. It was a beautiful ceremony. Jacob would have loved it. I was sniffling my way through it. It seemed that once the waterworks had started I couldn't shut it off. I felt like such a fraud sitting there and crying my eyes out like the good wife everybody had expected me to be. Didn't they realize I was the worst kind of person in the world? The kind who wants others dead to make their own life easier.

After one month of this I got a call from my dad that he wanted to see me. I reluctantly agreed, changed out of the shabby clothes I had been living in for the last couple of weeks and drove to my parent's house. It felt good to be here. Like I could almost remember the Bella I used to be when I was here. When I stepped into the living room I found myself being greeted by both mine and Jacob's parents. They told me how they wanted to create a foundation in his name to fight cancer and that I would be perfect for running it. I absorbed the information they were giving me. This sounded like the job of my dreams. But it would also mean I would be stuck with Jacob. I would be forced to keep up the appearance of being the good wife. But didn't I owe him that much? Didn't I owe him to do some good in his honor? I was still filled to the brim with guilt. And I was hoping that agreeing to do this I would be able to ease that guilt a bit.

Later my mom caught hold of me in the kitchen. "You understand what you give up if you do this, don't you Bella…?" she said seriously while looking me straight in my eyes. I understood completely but it didn't really seem like that much of a sacrifice at that moment. I was already living in a prison of guilt and despair, I might as well turn it into something useful. "You'll never really be able to move on, do you understand that? Your fathers mean well, but they don't really understand what this means for you. I want to make sure you do. For this foundation to be successful you know you have to remain the grieving widow, right?" She looked at me almost like she wanted me to say no to this. But I understood. I knew I could never find anybody else. It had to seem that loosing Jacob was the worst thing to ever happen to me or else it would be really hard to get people to donate to the cause. I knew that pity played a huge part in how successful these foundations were. But it didn't seem like such a big deal right then. My answer was yes. I was to head the Black-Swan Cancer Foundation. And I didn't think twice about giving up what could have been.

-AH-

I was 27 when I met Edward Cullen. Six months had passed since I started working for the foundation and we had achieved great things. We had raised a lot of money and it seemed that everybody wanted to help. Nobody could resist the allurement of our names. I had worked hard and really enjoyed it. But I was finding it harder and harder to maintain the façade of being the grieving widow. The truth was that I was thriving. I loved my job. It made me feel like I had a purpose and it gave me something to do with my time. And I was really good at it. I enjoyed charming people into giving donations and it almost became like a sport to me how much I could get out of people. But as that part of me was revived I found others part of me was withering away. I tried to ignore the pull I felt in my heart when I saw children. I still found it very hard to come to terms with not becoming a mother. I didn't allow myself to look at men. I didn't want to be tempted. But it was hard not to feel the urges that a normal 27 year old woman would have. I hadn't had sex in a very long time. I hadn't even been touched intimately in a very long time. I missed it. I missed feeling like a woman. One of the things I did to control this was to wear sexy lingerie. It became almost an obsession for me to wear something sexy underneath my clothes. Nobody knew. But I liked the way it made me feel like a woman again.

Then came the day I met Edward. I had been at a budget meeting for most of the day and had decided to walk to the next meeting down town instead of driving. I really enjoyed walking. I was with myself and nobody expected anything from me. I was making good time and knew I would be really early. I didn't let the rain annoy me and I was thankfully prepared having brought an umbrella. But as luck would have it I found myself drenched by a car turning a corner, not a scenario my umbrella could handle. A strangled noise alerted me to the fact that somebody had been drenched with me and I turned to him. I couldn't help but smile at the sight I was met with. A very wet man was standing next to me looking really surprised and a bit pissed off. And when he smiled back at me I almost stopped breathing. He was gorgeous. Like literally take-your-breath-away-gorgeous. He also looked familiar but I couldn't quite place him. I said some generic things like you do when you've experienced getting soaked with a stranger and it wasn't until he started to speak and I had a good look in his eyes that I guessed who he was. He had to be Edward Cullen. He looked so much like his father. I was used to seeing the rest of the family at parties but he never attended. There had been plenty of talk about him and a lot of rumors but I had never seen him before. But it had to be him. So when he invited me back to the office I spend all of 2 seconds contemplating saying no before I told him yes. I really didn't want to be soaking wet at my meeting and it would have taken me forever to go back to my place and change. And if he really was Edward Cullen I would be safe. I completely ignored that part of me that wanted me to admit I also said yes to be able to look at him a little while longer.

I did my best not to look too much at him when we entered the elevator. Elevators can be so uncomfortable, standing so close to people you don't really know. Instead I focused on my shoes and the miserable state they were in. Suddenly I could feel this heat travelling up my spine. Which was quite a feat as I was really cold. And I just knew it was him looking at me. I had to see his reaction to me so I averted my eyes to his face. His eyes were lingering on my thighs and a quick look in the mirror of the elevator told me my skirt had become somewhat see-through so my garter belt was showing. His obvious reaction to this lit a fire in me. A fire that I hadn't felt in ages. So when our eyes finally met I couldn't help but act on that fire and look right back at him.

When I was done with the shower I contemplated what to do. I hang my clothes on a heated towel rack and prayed they would dry relatively fast. In a bout of spontaneity I decided not to wear my bra even though it really wasn't that wet.

I kept searching for signs that he knew who I was. But he seemed thankfully oblivious. To be sure I introduced myself to him. The way he greeted my name really told me that he didn't know who I was. It was so alluring being able to sit here and be any Bella that I wanted to be. He wouldn't know any better. The nearness of him and the rush of freedom this realization gave me made me hot and bothered. I couldn't help but flirt with him, I was loving how much I seemed to be affecting him. I dodged his questions and stepped the flirting up a notch. I kept telling myself that I should stop, that I had all these obligations but I just couldn't seem to make myself stop. I stared at his lips imagining how it would feel to kiss him. And he didn't help my urges one bit by the way he kept licking them. I stared at his arms and upper body and imagined how it would feel to be held by him. I was overcome by all these emotions that I hadn't felt in a long time. I was suddenly so horny I almost didn't know what to do with myself. So I acted on it. I was only a woman after all.

The way he was with me was such a turn on. He didn't treat me carefully like I could break any second. He was strong and so manly and he let me fight him for dominance. I couldn't help but come apart with him. I let myself go completely and forgot about everything else. It was such a release to let myself feel again. And I did, I felt alive and wanted and woman.

Afterwards as I was coming down from the incredible orgasms the thoughts of real life began to enter my head again. Feelings of guilt and shame began to linger but I couldn't regret what I, we, had just done. I really, really wanted to see him again, to do _this_, again. But I knew I shouldn't. This man had the potential to ruin everything for me. I began to close myself off, to shut down that part of me, and I knew he could feel it. He wanted to see me again, he also wanted more. And as I looked into his eyes I couldn't say no to him. But I couldn't say yes either.

My head was still with him for the rest of the day. I enjoyed the feeling in my body. I liked feeling sore. I liked how the edge of my desperation had disappeared. And later that night as I was getting ready for bed I stepped out of my panties and smiled when I realized I could smell our mixed juices on them. The smell reignited the fire in me and my mind was swarming with memories of him. His touch, his smell, his lips. His eyes on my body. The sight of him naked. I was growing horny again but I knew I needed to quench this thirst I had for him. I couldn't afford to be distracted from my work, from my cause. I agreed to this. I agreed to solitude. I couldn't let my urges take over. I decided then and there not to see Edward again. And I went to bed horny, but determined nonetheless.

That determination lasted about two weeks. Every day that went by where I didn't see him kept chipping away at my armor. I was not sure that my encounter with him was worth the temporary release because he was taking up too much of my thoughts. And then one day I was paying more attention to what kind of underwear to put on. What kind of clothes and shoes to wear. If I should wear my hair up or down. And I knew I had given up. That I was going to see him again. I resigned myself to the fact that I couldn't stay away any longer.

The look on his face when I showed up at his office made my toes curl. He looked so relieved that I'd shown that I felt a part of me slipping and I let myself feel warm and fuzzy for a second. The sex was unbelievable. He wanted to take it slow but I _needed_ him to not be gentle with me. I was so done with gentle and fragile. I wanted to feel strong and powerful again. He slowly realized my needs and gave in. The roughness and manliness of him made it so much easier for me to let go and forget. And be this Bella. This Bella that had sex with almost strangers. Who was all about her own needs and desires. _His_ Bella. I liked his Bella.

I set up some boundaries for myself. I couldn't see him more than once a week. And the longer between visits the better. I couldn't divulge anything about myself. I didn't want him to learn who I was. I was fairly certain that he wouldn't find out by himself as we didn't move in the same circles.

But as time went on I could see that he was not happy with the arrangement. I could see that he wanted more. I desperately wanted to give him more, but I knew it was impossible. I had set myself up for the life I was living. I had no one to blame but myself. The look on his face every time I left told me I should end it. But I was too selfish to do that. I still wanted him to much.

The day I knew I had to push my own needs aside and finally end it with him was the day my mother pulled me aside and said: "Bella. I know you think you know what you're doing. But you are not that good at keeping it secret. It's evident in the way you smile when you think no one is looking. And the way you hold yourself." I looked at her scared. Had it really been that obvious? She continued "You need to get your priorities straight. What do you want to do? Do you want to run this foundation or not?" She gave me a stern look and left me. I was stuck between a hard place and a rock. I didn't want to let him go. But I had obligations to the foundation. And had made a life out of this. And I didn't really know Edward. We didn't really talk. So how did I even know if we were compatible in other ways than the sex? I just wasn't willing to give up everything I knew, my whole life, for this man. So I had to end it.

I waited a couple of days before I did it. I was in agony. It wasn't until I had made the decision to let him go that I realized how dependent I had become on the release he provided. It took some days to work up the courage to approach him. I went by the building that held his office several times. In some ways I was procrastinating, hoping he would have left the office if I waited long enough. But when I rang the buzzer he let me right in. I stood in front of the elevator for a while. I was so unsure of what to say to him. I knew he would be very hurt but I just couldn't see any other way. I finally took a deep breath and pushed the elevator button. I suddenly just wanted it over with. I wanted to go home and wallow. When I reached his office his eyes roamed my body and it took him a while to realize why I was there. The expression on his face when he did broke my heart. He looked so lost and sad. And I hated myself for doing this to him. By then I had this whole speech prepared. But the way he stood up and came for me made me forget it. The sex was frantic and desperate. I didn't want to give myself over to him, I just wanted to say my piece and leave. But I couldn't resist him when he was like that. All predator, dominating and _man_. Suddenly I couldn't get enough of him. I couldn't get him in me fast enough. And he obviously felt the same way. Afterwards I let him hold me for a while. It felt good. And it almost made me change my mind. Which freaked me out and made me lean back from him. And then I told him. I gave him my reasons. And it wasn't pretty. He wasn't happy about it. When I left the office I knew he was crying. I wanted so badly to go hold him and tell him I had changed my mind. But I couldn't. I had made my bed and now I had to lie in it. So I went home. And cried myself to sleep.

The next couple of months went by in a blur. I tried not to think about him and just immerged myself in my work. It sort of worked. I had shut off my emotions completely and once again fit into the box of a grieving widow. That off course affected the donations for the foundations and everybody was happy. Well, not everybody. I was barely living. And my mom kept glancing at me disapprovingly. It just added to the guilt. I knew I had failed. But I really tried to make up for it.

Then one day as I was leaving the office to go to lunch with some girlfriends who also wanted to donate money to the foundation my mother came to my office to see me. I was astounded by this, she never showed up at my workplace. Once we were seated and I tried not to glance too much at the watch she dropped a bomb on me. "Bella. You know I've always been proud of you. You've accomplished so much in so little time." She looked serious and I just nodded to let her know I heard what she was saying. I had heard it plenty of times before. "But how you have been behaving lately really disappoints me…" The stern look she gave me made me squirm in my seat. She made me feel like I was five years old being scolded. I could feel tears welling up in my eyes. "I've been enjoying seeing you coming to life again. I knew something was up, you've always been so easy to read, Honey." She was all smiles and mom. I was so confused by now. "But you told me to give it up, Mom…" I said. She shook her head at me. "No Honey. I told you to choose. And I wish you would have chosen differently. I want you to be happy again. I want you to love again. And I really want to be a grandmother…" She said the last bit smiling with a wink. I felt my cheeks flush and looked down. Tears were flowing down my face. All this time I thought she had been disappointed in me for falling in love when it was clearly the opposite. But that didn't even matter now. I gave him up. I made my choice. "It's too late now, Mom…" I said and got up from the chair. I was already running late for the lunch. She slowly stood up, looked me in the eyes and said: "Is it really Isabella?"

My head was swirling with thoughts as I entered the restaurant with the girls in tow. I had done my best to fix myself up so nobody would notice the tears, but had had to give up. I was confused and ecstatic at the same time. Somehow it felt like my dreams were within reach but still so far away. I knew I had some choices to make. Life altering choices. But at that moment I had to get that lunch over with.

I didn't see him at first. I noticed Lauren. And then my eyes landed on him. What was he doing here? Was he here with her? And as I realized what was going on I felt my body go numb. I put on my stoic face, I always had a knack for not letting my emotions show. But I knew he could see it. The look he gave me when he was introduced as Lauren's boyfriend was overwhelming. And the way he introduced himself to me as he didn't even know me. I just kept wishing for him to correct her. For him to tell me that it was a mistake that he was eating lunch with her. I had to shake his hand like a stranger. All though touching him felt good. Like coming home-good. Then it dawned on me. Maybe it really was too late. He clearly had moved on. Even though I knew I should do the same I couldn't. It hurt too much seeing him with somebody else. The rest of the lunch went by too fast. I couldn't keep my eyes off him. I tried but at the same time there was a big chance that this was the last time I was going to see him. So I found it really difficult not to look. And it was obvious he was having a hard time not looking at me either. I left the restaurant feeling even more confused. But ended up deciding not to do anything about it. If he had moved on there really was no reason for me to chance my life.

-AH-

I was 28 when I was granted a second chance with Edward. I saw his name on the list of people attending our big fundraiser at the art museum. I was astounded. Did he know who I was now, was that why he was coming? A little part of me hoped that it was to see me. I definitely noticed that Lauren's tickets weren't purchased with his. So that had to mean something, right?

The fundraiser went by smoothly. I kept noticing him out of the corner of my eyes but I couldn't focus too much on him, this night was for the foundation. He was very distracting though. He looked good in a tux. Really good. I immediately wanted to lick his jaw and nipple his throat. I was overwhelmed with memories of him the entire evening. It was then I realized that my decision had been made. I was clearly still into him. No, more than into him. There was definitely potential for whatever we had between us to develop into something more. And as I saw him slumped against the bar, looking defeated, and not even noticing the women trying to get his attention, I knew I wanted more with him. As he left for the balcony I couldn't not follow him.

Being near him was overwhelming. The smell of him made my body react and I suddenly wasn't too proud to beg. He was clearly surprised to see me. And the look in his eyes nearly broke my heart. I let myself feel the desolation. I had done that to him. And I was going to have to make it up to him. Right then and there I promised myself that I would. That he was worth changing my life for. If he could only forgive me. Only trust me enough again to know that I would never make him feel that way again. I let out a breath I didn't know I was holding when he agreed to hear me out and gave me his address. The relief I felt was almost palpable. He was actually giving me a chance to explain. And I just had to make him forgive me.

The party dragged on after that. I wanted to just ignore my obligations and run to him but if this was to be my last fundraiser I had to finish my job properly. So I smiled. Made small-talk. And generally pretended to care about whatever people was talking to me about. But in truth my body was coming alive again. I was exhilarated by the thought of seeing him later. That hopefully he would hear me out. He would understand. And that he would forgive me.

The wait from me ringing his door bell to him opening the door was excruciating. But it gave me a chance to take a deep breath and wipe my palms off in my dress. I was nervous. And wound with sexual energy. The conclusion of finally having made the decision to be with him made me want him really bad. All these months of second guessing myself and suppressing my feelings were finally over. And my body clearly wanted to take advantage of that fact. When he opened the door I wanted to jump him. Right then and there. But I knew we had to have an important conversation first. I barely noticed his apartment when he led me into his living room. I was overwhelmed by his scent and the nearness of him. I had so many things I wanted to tell him, I wanted him to understand about me, that I almost didn't know how to start. So I just started with telling him the one thing nobody else knew. The truth about how I felt about Jacob.

As I talked I kept casting him glances. Eager to know if my words were having the effect I wished for. When I got to the part about meeting him I had to look him in the eyes as I told him how much he meant to me. How important he had been for my sanity. And as I talked I felt myself being drawn to him. Constantly moving closer and closer to him until I was touching him. Pleading him to believe and forgive me with my eyes, my words and my body. And being so close to him made me want to taste him. I had to give in and kiss his chin. Tasting him did me in. I knew I wouldn't be able to stop. I wanted him so bad. He hadn't said a word so far and I took that as a good sign. If he didn't want me surely he would have told me to stop by now. So I started to undress him. Showing him I could worship him. Take care of him. And not just use him. I reveled in his glorious body as more and more clothes came off. I feasted on the naked skin with my mouth. I got down on my knees and started to work on getting his trousers off. I didn't fight the rush of heat coursing through my body as they were dropped to his knees and I was face to face with his member straining against his briefs. My mind was swirling with ideas of what to do with it now it was within reach. Until he stopped me. My heart sank to my knees and my throat dried up. He didn't want me? He didn't want this? But before I knew it I was enclosed in his arm. I reveled in the safety and warmth and just let go of all restrictions when he told me he wanted to make love to me in his bedroom. He was right. We needed to treat this as a new start. We had never done it in a bed.

He laid me down gently on the bed. He reverently took off my dress and kissed every inch of exposed skin. He worshipped my breasts with his hands and mouth. The way he touched me and looked me in my eyes was so meaningful I almost started crying. It was obvious to me now how much he loved me. When he entered me I couldn't help the tears that started to fall. It was just so intense. He seemed to know how I was feeling because he stopped to wipe a tear away from my cheek with his thumb and kissed me softly. Passion slowly overtook us and claimed our bodies until we were both a mess of spend bodies and minds. It had never felt this way before. I had never had this kind of connection with anyone before him. Afterwards we just held each other. And fell asleep in each other's arms. Another first for us. I felt so safe and loved and happy. And I knew everything had to be alright. How could it not?

-AH-

We were married on my 30th birthday. It was perfect, very us and very different from my first wedding. We had gathered our closest family and friends and we exchanged our vows on a beach in the Caribbean. My feet were bare and I was wearing a modest blue dress, his favorite color on me. He was just as casual clothed. I had flowers in my hair and a small bouquet in my hands and as I looked him in the eye and very clearly said "I do" I knew I had made the right decision. We were meant to be. My parents looked so happy and my mother was even drying her eyes.

I wouldn't say that our path to this day had been easy. We had caused quite the scandal in high society when we declared our love for each other publicly. And the foundation had had to go through some major organizational changes. But Edward had been by my side through it all and supported me through some of the real rough patches. And that made me love him impossibly more.

And as I was standing on this beach promising I would love him forever I knew I finally had my happy ever after…

-THE END (for real this time…)-

**A/N: This really is the end, I promise. I hope you didn't think it was too sappy but I just figured they deserved happy after all the angst… **

**Remember this isn't betaed so blame all the errors on yours truly.**

**Thank you to everybody who has been reading. And a million thanks to everybody who reviewed. It has been fantastic to get all the feedback from you. And a BIG thank you to the lovely ladies at the PPSS for mentioning AH in their Lemon Report… You guys are AWESOME! **

**Finally, I just wanted to say that reviews are better than a casual Edward on a Caribbean beach… Scratch that – who am I kidding…? But reviews DO make me very happy… **


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